Got to wash your hands

(Last night I read him bedtime stories via video)

When you where asleep last night the books pooed on your head

(I was making coffee)

I wish I could send you coffee down the phone (me: I wish you could too) I’d make you coffee and put it down the phone

(he does not wash his own hands except on mummy’s clothes)

“Mummy if you wash your hands you’ll get a surprise

(He’d just informed me I was a poo)

(Me: can poos drink coffee) no poos drink ice cream

(I’m ok with that)

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Independence

(Nephew had taken him self down to the end of the field to say hello to his dad, who working there. my sister has 9 1/2 acres ) (His mum: You can’t go off on your own you need either mummy or daddy to go with you) Mummy don’t worry Millie was with me (Millie is their dog) Millie

Things my nephew has said in the past

(Putting on a dinosaur 🦕 onesie he just had to wear) I can get dressed all by myself because I’m a grownup (me: grownups are quite when people are asleep) I’m a baby (a mess room) (his me: Nephew can you tidying up please) Mummy it would make me feel better if YOU Were to do the tidying up (In a noisy restaurant, I have hypersensitive hearing) DADDY, DADDDDY , DADDDDDDDY (his dad: yes bud) It's too noisy for Auntie (he looks lovely in to my eyes) I'm going to kill you then eat you (Anything he wants) Is this yours (me: yes) oh I thought it was mine (he'd just walked in the door) it’s not a proper house like mine, the stairs aren’t in the middle (jess is his granddads puppy) "I’ll be gentle with Jess even though granddad isn’t here"

Video call

(In the middle of a phone call with his mum, and mid sentence) bye (he then hung up) (to his mum while covering his face in paint) You're not the prettiest anymore because I'm all sparkly

The daily nephew

The daily nephew

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